Just Be Yourself
“Explain that one to me.”
I’m not sure I can. I’ve been saying this to myself since I was 15, 16. I stick by it but still cannot fathom what it is that I should do. After 30 odd years of trying to be myself I still don’t have the courage it takes. There are parts of the cake I don’t explore. If I don’t know myself how can I just be myself? Perhaps I should just leave well enough alone, not try. Not trying is still an instruction though—just another approach. So I keep trying. I encourage myself to trust myself to find myself to be myself. In this tanning bed of self revelation I’m looking for a new spark of enthusiasm. I’ll barter with you.
Competing forces tug away inside. Not necessarily a problem but hard. Very hard. Light and dark, the humorist and the killer, the downer, the saint versus the realist, the hedonist and the aesthete. The list goes on. The athlete (so neglected) scrambles to get a little run in now and again, in between the cracks of my fractured universe.
“the King’s men.”
The King’s men had it all wrong. They saw the impossible, looked for perfection and packed it in. They had a collective failure of the imagination.
“One of your key words”.
With effort and patience, a little bit of humility, some determination the bits of the shell can be more or less reassembled, always a work in progress, a puzzle with pieces missing. None of us can ever know the sum of all our parts. I hope my parts add up to some scintillating dialogue, and maybe make for a very good play.
Session ends: 2:18PM, 8.28.11